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J.A.C.O.B.
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We were the average family, living in small town America. Mom,
Dad, three kids and a dog. Jason, our oldest was born in 1988,
then Jeremiah came along in 1996, and Jacob in 1998. John and I
worked opposite shifts so that the kids didn't have to be in a
day care. Jason was a big help, being so much older than the two
little ones. Jason was always a quiet, responsible kid. Jeremiah
was the outgoing, mischievous, typical boy. Jacob was our
professor. He was always thinking. He would go outside to play
and we would find him turning over rocks looking for bugs and
worms. He was also our lover. He loved everyone and everything.
We weren't allowed to swat a fly he would catch it and let it
outside. When Grandma came for a visit he went running to jump
into her arms for a kiss and to tell her he loved her. Jacob and
Jeremiah were so close, more so than most siblings. Jacob was
born 1 day before Jeremiah's second birthday. Jeremiah always
said he was the best birthday present he ever got. They were
always together. If you found one you always found the other.
Jacob was not a big talker, in fact when he started pre-school
at 3yrs. he was put into a special program because of his speech
delay. He got to go to school 4 days a week for half a day. Two
days were in a special needs class room to help with his speech,
and 2 days were in a regular class. Because they were so close
there were times when Jeremiah had to translate for us. He was
the only one who could fully understand Jacob. |
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Jacob was fascinated by dinosaurs and knew all their names. He
wasn't able to say many simple words, but he could say the full
scientific name of most dinosaurs. His special needs teacher did
a unit on dinosaurs to try to encourage Jacob to talk, She would
show a picture of a dinosaur and use their nick names, such as
3-horn, Jacob would correct her and tell her "that is a
triceratops". All of Jacob's teachers fell in love with
him. When he was old enough to go to kindergarten he was given
an IQ test to see if he needed any further special need classes.
When I arrived for the meeting to discuss the results of the
test I was told that I had a genius child. At 4 yrs. 10 months
Jacob's IQ was 114. We were also told that because of where we
lived Jacob could attend kindergarten at the
pre-school/kindergarten building, or he could ride the bus to
the elementary building where Jeremiah was. We felt kindergarten
was too young to ride the bus. We had had the same choice with
Jeremiah and had made the same decision. In kindergarten, Jacob
blossomed. His speech was much improved and he began to make
many friends. When I would drop him at his classroom each
morning I would find several children waiting for him near the
door. Once he was there they would give him big hugs and they
would all move into the classroom to play. We lived in a
neighborhood where there were several children and our yard was
the favorite place to gather. It was not uncommon to have 6-8
children playing in the yard and 4-5 teenagers in the house. |
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In August of 2004 Jacob started first grade and had to ride the
school bus to the elementary school. I was able to walk the kids
to the bus stop, 1 block from the house, every morning and be
there to meet them in the evening for the first few weeks (my
job did a lay-off during the summer and at Christmas). In
September I had to return to work, but was comfortable with them
having Jason to help them on and off the bus. I would see them
out the gate and down the road, but had to finish getting ready
for work. I usually left just after the bus and got home about
an hour and a half after the boys. Jason was old enough to get
them a snack and keep them occupied until I got home. There were
usually a couple of extra teen's there and I would often come
home to find at least one of them in the floor on all 4's with
Jacob and/or Jeremiah on their back playing "horsey".
The second week of December Jason was sick. He had such a severe
sinus infection that the whites of his eyes were pink. On
December 16th I started my Christmas lay-off and had gotten home
early. I was sitting in the living room with Jason waiting on
the boys to get home. I had just looked at the clock and said
"they'll be home any minute now" When our neighbor's 9
yr old, boy, who also rode the bus, burst through the door
saying " Jacob got ran over by the bus!" |
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On
December 16th, 2004 our 6yr old son Jacob was killed when he was
ran over by his bus. His big brother Jeremiah, who was 8
witnessed the accident. Jason, who was 16, and I were at the
accident site before the ambulance, or police. That night I felt
that our family was alone in our devastation. I realized the
next day that there where so many more feeling our grief. During
the next few days I realized how many. We received notes and
cards from all over our small town, and even a couple from a
town an hour and a half away. They knew our grief because they
had been through it just about 45 days earlier. Jeremiah was
diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and major
depression. His counselor said he was stuck on sad. Jason dealt
with depression and guilt. He thought if he had been on the bus
that day he could have stopped the accident. Our bus driver died
from a heart attack a little over a year after the accident. His
friends and family all felt that Jacob's death was what killed
him. Our little town has a population of just over 10,000
people, and Jacob's death affected most of them. |
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Now in
Jacob's memory my husband and I, with the help of God, have put
together a program to help teach bus drivers and children school
bus safety. We have been as far away as Maine and have covered
most of the southern half of our home state of Missouri. We hope
to take Jacob's story to every state in the hope that we can
prevent this tragedy from happening to another family. |
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